Goodbyes

I hate goodbyes. It just feels so awkward to me. I’ve recently been watching The Office (the US version) and there is an episode where Michael is leaving. He tells everyone his last day will be a certain day, but actually leave the day before. I wish I could do the same thing.

Yesterday was my last day at the Care Centre in Hawston. Tomorrow I leave Hawston and move back for my final two weeks in Cape Town. I have mixed feelings about all of this. While I will miss many of the individuals here, I cannot say that I will miss everyone. While I will miss some aspects of my job here, I cannot say I will miss all of the drama and problems. There are some things I will miss from this area, but not in a heart wrenching, crippling way. Maybe it is just the way I am. I have always been more of a moving forward kind of person. I had things I would miss of highschool, but I was eager to move on to university. I was sad to be completing my degree and leaving all the wonderful people I met along the way, but I was excited to see what was next. Leaving for my year here was difficult, and I knew there were many things I would miss, but I was looking forward to the next adventure. I guess it is the same now. My time here was my time here. There was good, there was bad, there was great, and it is all coming to a close, and I guess I am ok with that.

Yesterday, the care center threw me a going away party. I had voiced previously that it was not necessary, but I knew that would be ignored. The thing I have realized over the years is that goodbyes are as much for the people staying as it is for the people leaving. I hate being the center of attention, I hate everyone making a fuss over me, but I understand that this is their way of showing their appreciation for me. Nothing would have made me happier than to just have a normal day of work yesterday, but I understand the sense of closure needed. In the end I am glad it happened. It helped me realize how much I have grown to like and appreciate the people I worked with here. A joke amongst many people here is that when I get married, I have to invite them to the wedding. I always, half-jokingly half seriously reply that it’s fine that they get an invitation, as long as they understand I don’t expect them to actually show up. It was yesterday, saying goodbye, that I realized there were more than I few people here that I wouldn’t mind being surprised by at my wedding (as long as they were ok arranging airfare and accommodation themselves. I’ve got college loans to pay off). So I put up with the party with a grin.

Last week, a smaller group of people threw me a going away braai, and honestly, I would have been happy with just that send off. It was just a group of people I have met and worked with here, hanging around, grilling some meat, and enjoying each other’s company. It was hosted by Edison, a worker at the center who has gone from part-time finical officer to fulltime head guy following the departure of the front office. He and I are around the same age and we have struck up a pretty good friendship in my time here. Part of what I enjoyed about the braai at his house was I wasn’t really treated special. Edison and I were in charge of the fire together, and most of the evening was spent just hanging out getting the fire ready and then cooking the meat (you start with a wood fire, and then use charcoal here. None of that propane nonsense we use in the states).

In the end, both were good send offs. The social event and the formal event. They each had their strengths, and I am glad for everyone here and what they have allowed me to learn about myself and the opportunity to grow.